Existential Pinup Grrrl

bjork

Wed, 22 May 2013 14:15:37 -0400

bjork

it’s go go not cry cry

Fri, 17 May 2013 13:39:05 -0400

it’s go go not cry cry

Urban Dictionary: Negging

Fri, 17 May 2013 13:07:00 -0400

Urban Dictionary: Negging:

Low-grade insults meant to undermine the self-confidence of a woman so she might be more vulnerable to your advances. This is something no decent guy would do. They say that the assholes get the girls, but I can spot negging a mile away and I reject these fuckers straight off.

- Wow, this is a thing. A super horrible verbally abusive thing.

Photo

Thu, 16 May 2013 10:31:34 -0400

Would You Sell Your Underwear?

Wed, 15 May 2013 12:31:00 -0400

Would You Sell Your Underwear?:

I might have to try this. It’s TOO hilarious. Plus I need money and the fact that useless crap laying around my house has value on the free market kind of fascinates me. I’m Taoist and materialism is just…weird. Funny strange and occasionally as in this case - funny ha ha. Not that I don’t like nice stuff! Used panties just don’t really qualify for me. Eye of the beholder? I’ve been selling my books and collector’s items for months just to get by, even selling my furniture to pay my phone bill. Is this next? Hmmm…

COUNSELLING BLOG: Are you they type of person who gets victimised?

Mon, 13 May 2013 10:00:00 -0400

COUNSELLING BLOG: Are you they type of person who gets victimised?:

Are you they type of person who gets victimised?

The following questions will help you determine if you’re the type of person who becomes a victim.

1. Do you tend to stay quiet in relationships instead of confidently asking for what you want?

yes

2. Do you feel inadequate on your own, and only feel worthwhile if you are part of a couple?

sometimes

3. Has a girlfriend or boyfriend, at some point in the past, been able to isolate you from your friends?

yes

4. Are you too much of a people pleaser?

5. Do you desperately want and need to be loved?

6. Do you bury and suppress your anger and resentment?

yes

7. Do you find it hard to say NO to others, and to set and maintain healthy boundaries?

yes

8. Would you describe yourself as being over-responsible?

used to be true

9. Do you struggle with feelings of false guilt and shame?

depends what you mean by false…

10. Do you desperately want to be noticed and affirmed?

no - rather not be noticed

11. Do you lose your unique self if in your relationships with others? maybe

12. Do you find hard to disagree with others?

13. Are you the kind of person who takes care of others but doesn’t really take care of themselves?

yes

14. Do you give more than the other person in close relationships?

not much experience with relationships - but yes

15. Are you always saying “sorry”; do you tend to assume that everything “bad” is your fault?

16. Are you a bit on the gullible side; are you easily taken in by others? yes; it’s hard for me to believe people have bad intentions/are bad

17. Do you allow other people to squash your spirit, and suffocate your creativity?

yea…

18. Do you tend to ignore that nagging inner voice and to blindly hope that everything will be OK?

yes - i ignore my intuition a lot and try to trust people/life instead - i haven’t really found the balance yet.

19. In relationship, do you pretend that any problems “are no big deal” as you’d rather avoid them, than address them properly?

no i like to address things asap and move on - conflict can be constructive

20. Do you tend to forgive too easily?

??? i guess so…

violentchildren: Source - intoxicatingflesh on We Heart It....

Sun, 12 May 2013 21:10:39 -0400

violentchildren:

Source - intoxicatingflesh on We Heart It. http://weheartit.com/entry/53604294

Musings by Samsaran: Ten Tips for a Successful Meditation

Mon, 06 May 2013 10:56:13 -0400

Musings by Samsaran: Ten Tips for a Successful Meditation:

samsaranmusing:

1. To the best of your ability meditate at regular times in the cool of the morning or the quiet of the night. This way your family or roommates will come to know your meditation times and perhaps be respectful of this time.

2. Have a designated meditation spot. It can be a corner of your room….

eroticwitch: Photography By Wolfgang Zajc.

Mon, 06 May 2013 09:07:36 -0400

eroticwitch:

Photography By Wolfgang Zajc.

Sorry I haven't posted in two months

Mon, 06 May 2013 08:29:00 -0400

I haven’t posted in two months.

I could regale you with a lot of excuses but basically, I was homeless and unemployed when the person I was living with/working for stopped paying their mortgage. In a panic, I leaned on a lot of people that I thought I could trust but who ultimately fell through and left me worse than when they had found me. The second time I ended up homeless it was because the people I moved with turned out to be in an abusive relationship they were trying to reel me into. Not an entire two days later after ending up on a couch again and worrying about the safety of myself and belongings my ex (the person who I was working for/living with the first time) calls me – a homeless jobless person – begging for a loan. It’s made me pretty leery of anyone who claims to be friend or family.

Then the other week I heard the word “my house” slip out of my mouth for possibly the first time ever. Things change fast. I even got my hands on some much needed medication for my autoimmune disease without medical insurance. And while job interviews haven’t exactly been pouring in, I’ve gotten three in the past few months I was seriously interested in – although I was too sick to attend the last one. One of the biggest developments is in my personal life; I have a domme now – so be on the lookout for some reflections on the relationship between that and meditation.

I always know I’m doing well when I feel well enough to write.

i see the scar on myself next to the one he put there and i wonder why i’m in cahoots with...

Sun, 05 May 2013 23:57:41 -0400

i see the scar on myself next to the one he put there and i wonder why i’m in cahoots with him

why am i helping my enemies by destroying myself?

My struggle with Suicide

Sat, 04 May 2013 02:27:00 -0400

i realize now that i didn’t want to speak or be spoken to

i didn’t want to touch or be touched

i didn’t want to love or be loved

i didn’t want to look or be looked at

i wanted to be dead

in so many insidious little ways - in every breath.

i didn’t even want to eat - five years of anorexia

my body rebelled at the idea of living

this is how deeply suicidal i’ve been. this is how long i’ve fought being.

……………………………………………………………………………………

call 1-800-273-8255National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

"When women scream you wonder what’s wrong with them. When men yell you get afraid about what they’re..."

Fri, 03 May 2013 11:46:26 -0400

“When women scream you wonder what’s wrong with them. When men yell you get afraid about what they’re going to do.”

- A girl in my creative writing class said this in response to a story we read about witnessing intimate partner violence and it really fucked with my head because I’ve never, ever, ever, thought of it that way. (via youngbadmanbrown)

whoa.

(via weaklungz)

the truth just keeps coming.

(via cumaeansibyl)

narrowdiaryofmymind: Let Me Go - Phantogram

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 17:03:25 -0400

narrowdiaryofmymind:

Let Me Go - Phantogram

hexagrams

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 15:55:00 -0400

i never pray for anything but to be a conduit of the will of the universe

i am expanding like steam

aware of my shadow self but striving

in every endeavor to learn and improve

i undertake this fool’s journey

i loop through inner truth

the end result

a spiritual benefactor promises to transform me

to get me there - i know it may seem

i’m not living my path

i know, i’m stumbling

this strange twisted woman i am revealing to become

strained through, filtered, changing

this is me becoming truth

trust the process, lover

trust that i am more than what you’re capable of perceiving

“Holly: I’ll never let anyone put me in a cage! Paul: I...

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 10:17:24 -0400

“Holly: I’ll never let anyone put me in a cage!

Paul: I don’t want to put you in a cage, I wanna love you.

Holly: Same thing!

Paul: No it’s not, Holly—

Holly: I’m not Holly! I’m not Lula Mae either. I don’t know who I am. I’m like Cat here. We’re a couple of no-name slobs. We belong to nobody, and nobody belongs to us. We don’t even belong to each other.”

I come bearing all the gifts of that which I am and am capable of to anyone who would promise not to...

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 12:02:00 -0400

I come bearing all the gifts of that which I am and am capable of to anyone who would promise not to take them for granted.

awakening

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 23:44:00 -0400

People walk around everyday

Like eggs in fragile shells

Or open wounds with no dressings

Their faces soft, and easily crushed

Their hearts beating tenuously

Could stop any minute -

I think

Why did I ever fear them?

I see them through the bus windows as I pass them by

And think of all the ways they could die

How delicate they are - just like me

And wonder why they stand there at the stops with their headphones on

Like walls up

Instead of turning to one another and speaking

I see how they cross the street without thinking

And breathe without savoring the oh so terminable breath in their bodies

I imagine being a mother to them all

Covering them in my strength like the metal blanket of a plane’s wing

To escape the constant fear

The incredible impermanent tenderness of mortality

The fears that once gripped even me

I see them cover themselves over instead with lies to keep themselves in and others out

As if their edges aren’t so sandy they couldn’t meld into one by accident

Like a veil to their eyes

Like a scab to keep them safe

But that never removes the infection beneath

Or lets shine out the base luminosity

Like naked exposure to the air would

Lies are a cruel tyranny by which we seek to exalt ourselves as masters of our own reality

But only succeed to deceive ourselves with a false sense of security

No one is more scared of reality than a liar

We fear the truth because it looms to consume us

It whispers to us that we are sweet nothing

That an end is always coming

Seems bittersweet

But if we lifted our heads from weeping we’d see there is only better still on the shores before us

Past these tumultuous waters

Waiting for us to open eyes and hearts

I call it not by the name of heaven like some

And I fear not knowing that it approaches me

but instead spread my arms to embrace the moment -

That which gives me life

And menaces to end it whenever it may please

anti-oppressivebabyanimals: A COLLABORATION WITH:...

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 12:56:41 -0400

anti-oppressivebabyanimals:

A COLLABORATION WITH: ahhhhsarah

[IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A BABY BLACK PANTHER STANDS IN A GRASSY, OPEN FIELD. AS IT STARES INTENTLY AHEAD, IT THINKS ABOUT HOW GREAT IT IS TO RESPECT ONE’S AUTONOMY. TEXT READS, “LET’S VALUE EACH OTHER’S NEED FOR SPACE. LOVE IS NOT ABOUT OWNERSHIP.” YOU DO YOU, PANTHER. YOU DO YOU.]

Poetry Challenge; Conflict

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 12:22:12 -0400

gnashing cyclic meal grinder

sickly sweet magnolia stomach

trapped inside own innards

tendrils creep to meet

lost in translation

mis-communication

failure to merge - roadblocks thrown up

cliff diving