The world is my home. Humanity is my family.
Pinups, Inspiration, Poems, Art, Activism, Taoism, Spirituality, Diary Entries & Miscellany - created or compiled by Ms. Ava West
Oh shut up. Every time it rains, it stops raining. Every time you hurt, you heal. After darkness, there is always light and you get reminded of this every morning but still you choose to believe that the night will last forever. Nothing lasts forever. Not the good or the bad. So you might as well smile while you’re here.
Doesn’t it seem somewhat ludicrous that certain clothes are ‘honest’ and certain clothes are ‘dishonest’? The ickyness of the phrase ‘problem areas’ aside, this quote seems to be saying that there would have been more honesty if she had worn clothes that emphasized ‘problem areas’ and ignored ‘assets.’ But that doesn’t seem to make any sense– that sounds like honesty is making yourself look the way you don’t want to look.
Why is the bust something important enough to bring up dishonesty and deception? Because it’s seen as a bargaining chip in a sexual relationship, bigger boobs being more valuable. Fraud is only relevant if you are replacing something of higher value with something of lesser value. Deceit comes into play when the result is hurtful. The only reason push up bras can be dishonest is because boobs are viewed as commodities that increase a woman’s sexual value.
The world is my home. Humanity is my family.
At times I think and at times I am.
reminds me of something i was talking about with a friend today ;)
So before I had my ego death/identity/existential crises in february 2011 I consistently rated as an esfj with low to medium openness to experience and high conscientiousness. Now I’m a enfp with high but lowered conscientiousness and off the charts openness to experience. Meanwhile I still rank in the 4th percentile of neuroticism and very high on agreeableness.
I wonder if other people experiencing radical spiritual transformations have noticed similar changes in their actual test results on personality quizzes after experiencing religious or spiritual awakening. I think what is interesting is that I started taking in so much more sensory information without judging it as much without numbing myself too extensively in awareness (conscientiousness).
Has anyone else experienced something like this?
I decided that instead of waiting for new year’s to make resolutions I’d do it on or near my birthday instead - despite my birthday only being about a month before new years. After all, that’s the time I most tend to reflect on the disparity between my achievements and my desires. I also just got into a work rehabilitation type program through Goodwill to address my chronic underemployment - and like the program we use at the domestic violence shelter I work at to help survivors rebuild their lives - it’s a very self directed, goal setting based program built on the SMART model.
As hands off as these programs tend to seem to people in the throes of financial and personal crises - they’re based on very real evidence. Research consistently suggests that goals and drive are most dictated by our internal motivations. That is to say; no one can truly motivate you to meet your goals, or set them, or take them seriously - but you. No one can set goals for you. No one can impassion you to meet them. Without the element of YOU your goals just won’t come to pass.
Sure, we can get accountabili-buddies, tell others about our goals, write them down to increase the social pressure to meet them - but in the end if you say you want to quit smoking - you have to work YOUR ass off to quit. And you have to take yourself seriously when you say that’s what you want. It begins with being honest with yourself. Do you realistically want to quit smoking? Can you do this? (Trick question; “I can’t,” is a cop out. So is “I don’t know how,”). What are relevant the steps you’re going to take to achieve that? When will you implement your plan? When specifically do you want to have quit by?
The fourteen year old juvenile delinquent I babysit - as per DFCS request that she be watched at all times - is furiously unaccountable. I literally can’t even trust her to walk home from the bus stop without incident. As harsh as we have been, and as loving as we have been, no one can change her behavior but her. I’ve outright confronted her about lies she’s told me and rather than come clean and earn enough trust that we don’t have to breathe down her neck constantly - she’s simply chosen to lie again. In the end, she’s the only person she’s truly cheating. If one more incident occurs - her sister is likely to forfeit her to the state. I myself have been lied to so many times, harassed, and witnessed enough petty crimes in the three weeks I’ve been there that I have no qualms about calling the Department of Juvenile Justice the next time another shoe drops.
In the past few days - her future brother in law and current father figure (a long time friend of mine) has given her three brilliant rules to live by.
1. Am I being honest with myself and others? (this one is chosen to address her pathological lying - but also a good rule for adults and youths of all types).
2. Will this hurt me or the people I love?
3. What can I learn from this?
Goals and directives like these seem laughably easy when written - but harder to implement. Token economies help you reward yourself for meeting your goals within goals.
To be a little trite - use baby steps. Plot out your plan step by step. For example; The first thing I have to do to get into grad school is research how. My previous excuse “I don’t know how” simply isn’t good enough. Let’s be realistic - excuses aren’t going to get me where I want to go. I plan to get a mentor who has done it already. Perhaps more than one. I plan to research the process and the schools I may want to apply to on the internet and narrow my options. Once I do this, I could even have a material reinforcer such as a cookie! Or on a longer timeline I could buy myself a nice pleasure read with the “tokens” I put aside whenever I do something to reach my goals.
I want to at least have applied to a grad school by next winter. I also want to have a car by February. For this I also need to take a break from Candy Crush and tumblr and DO RESEARCH.
Knowing is half the battle, right?
I have to go now! Lots to do!